The Ugly Truth: Open-Mindedness Is a Myth
Photo by Jiawei Zhao on Unsplash
Open-mindedness. It’s one of those terms that gets thrown around so often that it has started to lose its meaning. You’ve probably seen it in countless social media debates: “Be open-minded!” someone says when they want you to agree with them. Or “If you were more open-minded, you wouldn’t judge me,” when someone wants to justify their choices.
But is that really what open-mindedness means? Or have we been misusing the term to the point where it no longer reflects its true essence?
The truth is, open-mindedness is not about having no opinions, being endlessly flexible, or passively agreeing with whatever comes your way. It’s something much deeper, more active, and paradoxically—requires strength, not weakness.
In this piece, I would like to share my thoughts on what open-mindedness really means, what it isn’t, and how someone with strong beliefs can actually remain open to new perspectives.
Misconceptions About Open-Mindedness
Let’s start with the common misconceptions. Many people think that being open-minded means:You’re indecisive.
You don’t have strong opinions.You lack identity.You just go with the flow.
Some even weaponize the term to manipulate others: “If you were really open-minded, you’d support what I’m doing.”
But if we think about it, that’s not open-mindedness. That’s either being passive, insecure, or trying to impose your own beliefs under the disguise of tolerance.
Real open-mindedness has nothing to do with being a pushover. In fact, it’s the opposite.
A Research-Based Definition
The University of Pennsylvania’s Authentic Happiness program defines open-mindedness as:“The willingness to search actively for evidence against one’s favored beliefs, plans, or goals, and to weigh such evidence fairly when it is available.”
This definition reveals something crucial: open-mindedness is active, not passive. It’s not about accepting everything but about examining fairly. It requires us to do two difficult things:
Look for evidence that contradicts our beliefs.Honestly weigh that evidence—even if it makes us uncomfortable.
Think about how rare that is. Most of the time, we only seek evidence that confirms what we already believe (a psychological bias known as confirmation bias, first described by cognitive psychologist Peter Wason in the 1960s). To intentionally look for disconfirming evidence? That takes courage and humility.
The Human Limitation
Here’s where it gets tricky. If we take the purest form of open-mindedness—complete understanding without judgment—it may actually be impossible for us as humans.Imagine trying to be open-minded toward acts of theft, violence, or even murder. The pure essence of open-mindedness would ask us to suspend judgment and simply understand. But can we? Should we?
The truth is, human beings are moral creatures. We carry values, emotions, and instincts for survival. We cannot—and arguably should not—completely strip away judgment.
Psychologist Leon Festinger’s cognitive dissonance theory (1957) explains this well: when we encounter beliefs or actions that strongly clash with our values, our minds experience discomfort. It’s human nature to resolve that discomfort—often by rejecting or judging what feels too far outside our moral boundaries.
So, what we usually call “open-mindedness” is actually something closer to toleration. We don’t stop having opinions, but we learn to allow space for other people’s differences without letting it destroy respect or connection.
The Paradox: Open-Mindedness Requires Strong Belief
Here’s the paradox that most people overlook: to be truly open-minded, you must first have strong beliefs.Why? Because open-mindedness is not about drifting aimlessly without convictions. If you have no beliefs, there’s nothing to challenge, nothing to question, and nothing to grow from.
Instead, open-mindedness means:
Holding your beliefs strongly, but not rigidly.Remaining willing to test those beliefs against new information.Adapting when evidence or experience proves them incomplete or wrong.
It’s like being a scientist of your own worldview. Scientists start with a hypothesis (a strong belief), but then actively test it, looking for evidence that could disprove it. And when new data comes in, they adjust.
Philosopher John Stuart Mill argued something similar in On Liberty (1859): he believed that even if our opinions are true, they must be constantly challenged. Why? Because without challenge, we stop understanding why we believe them—and our “truths” become lifeless dogmas.
Open-mindedness, then, is conviction paired with curiosity.
Open-Mindedness in Daily Life
To make this more concrete, let’s look at a few everyday examples:In Conversations: An open-minded person doesn’t shut down someone else’s perspective just because it contradicts their own. Instead of saying “That’s wrong,” they ask, “Why do you see it that way?” It doesn’t mean they’ll agree—but they will listen fairly.In Relationships: Open-mindedness in relationships looks like respecting differences in personality, habits, or even beliefs. It doesn’t mean compromising on your core values, but it does mean making space for another person’s truth to exist alongside yours.In Work and Creativity: At work, open-mindedness might mean being willing to change strategies when the data shows a campaign isn’t working, even if you were the one who designed it. In creativity, it means experimenting with new styles, even if you’ve grown comfortable with a certain way of doing things.
Why Open-Mindedness Is So Hard
If open-mindedness is so valuable, why is it so hard for most of us to practice?A few reasons:
Ego: Admitting we might be wrong feels like a blow to our identity.Comfort: It’s easier to stay within the bubble of familiar beliefs.Fear: Accepting new perspectives can make us feel unstable or uncertain.Tribalism: Humans are wired to protect their in-group beliefs, sometimes at the expense of truth.
Psychologists call this motivated reasoning—the tendency to process information in a way that suits our desires and preexisting beliefs (Kunda, 1990). It’s not that we can’t be open-minded, but that our brains are subtly wired to resist it.
Being open-minded requires us to challenge all of these natural tendencies. It’s no wonder we often avoid it.
How to Cultivate Open-Mindedness
The good news? Open-mindedness can be trained like a muscle. Here are a few practices:Ask More Questions: Instead of rushing to argue, get curious. Ask why someone believes what they believe.Play Devil’s Advocate: Deliberately look for reasons why your opinion might be wrong.Read Outside Your Comfort Zone: Consume books, articles, or podcasts from perspectives you normally wouldn’t.Separate Person from Belief: You can disagree with someone’s ideas while still respecting them as a person.Sit With Discomfort: Growth happens when you can tolerate the tension of not having all the answers.
Mindfulness researchers also suggest that present-moment awareness helps foster open-mindedness. By noticing our automatic reactions without judgment, we create space to pause, reflect, and respond more thoughtfully instead of defensively.
Open-Mindedness vs. Toleration
Let’s return to the earlier distinction.Being completely open-minded—never judging, always understanding—may be beyond human capacity. But what we can practice, consistently and authentically, is toleration.
Toleration doesn’t mean agreeing with harmful actions or condoning everything people do. It means recognizing differences without letting them harden into hatred or arrogance.
And maybe that’s enough. Maybe that’s what open-mindedness looks like in the real world: not perfect neutrality, but humble toleration.
A Final Reflection
So what does it really mean to be open-minded?It’s not about being indecisive or lacking identity. It’s not about blindly accepting everything. And it’s definitely not about using the term to pressure others into agreement.
Open-mindedness is the discipline of holding your beliefs firmly while being willing to test, question, and even change them in the face of new evidence. It’s the courage to sit in uncertainty, the humility to listen, and the wisdom to know when toleration is the most human form of understanding we can offer.
And that leaves us with a question worth reflecting on:
How can someone with strong beliefs remain truly open-minded?
Because maybe the answer isn’t about choosing one or the other, but about learning to balance conviction with curiosity—again and again, throughout our lives.By Dion Palandi — September 3, 2025
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